Our Story: A Lifetime of Friendship
Twenty-seven years ago, in August of 1993, Emily’s family moved from Atlanta, Georgia, to a small town in southwestern Connecticut. Merry’s family attended the same church that Em’s had picked out. A few weeks before school was due to start, Merry’s mother — Robin — invited Em’s mother — Deborah — to join her and her kids at a local swimming pool.
Deborah gladly accepted and they went swimming. Robin’s two eldest children were a year ahead of and a year behind Em in school. Merry was the eldest. We hit it off and a tentative friendship started.
The sudden and tragic death of Em’s younger brother, Danny, brought us together again. We quickly bonded and our friendship grew stronger and deeper. Merry introduced Em to Star Wars and the two of us spent hours writing stories, composing music, and generally being geeky together. We were the only two non-boys in Science Club; we got to enjoy adventures like dissecting a cow’s eye while the boys whined about how gross it was. Before long, we added Jean to our trio and an absolute hurricane of geekiness emerged.
In 1996, Em’s family moved to England, but we exchanged emails, letters, and the occasional phone call. Our Girl Scout troop from Connecticut had long worked towards raising money to fund a trip to Our Chalet, a WAGGGS site in Adelboden, Switzerland. We got to hike the Alps together. Merry also joined Em’s family in London for a bit, exploring the city and surrounding heritage.
Em’s family moved back to the States, to Texas, in 1998. Em, Merry, and Jean still managed to get together in places like Washington, D.C. As we went to our respective universities, we began to grow apart a bit but kept in touch. As social media emerged — first Livejournal, then Facebook and Twitter, we continued to follow each others’ adventures.
Our friendship waxed and waned, as these things often do, but found renewal in 2014 when Em moved to Maryland, not far from where Merry had been for several years. We made pasta and cheese together (from scratch!) one day and found that we may have drifted over the years, but had often drifted in the same direction. When Em moved back to Texas in late 2015, leaving Merry behind was one of the hardest parts.
In March of 2019, Em was in a horrifying, fatal, fiery car accident. Em broke more than 30 bones, had ten surgeries, five feet of scars, a foot of plates, and is now partially disabled. Em had to relearn how to eat, drink, breathe, walk, and talk. Amazingly, despite more than a month in the ICU and another month in the regular hospital, Em was home three months after the wreck. More than a year later, Em’s only regular difficulty is with stairs; you would never know what had happened just by looking.
We stayed in regular contact in the wake of the wreck. Merry checked in on Em. Robin even made a beautiful quilt for Em, which is used almost daily — it’s perfect for keeping Em’s legs and feet warm.
To get better, less prohibitive healthcare, Em has been exploring the idea of moving back to France (or elsewhere in Europe). Em is an attorney and discovered several potential post-doc graduate programs in Paris that would suit their interests, but knew going alone would be difficult and possibly dangerous — having a good support network is everything. Em has lived in Paris before and knows the city well. So Em came up with a long-shot idea and called Merry.
Em proposed.
After ten days of careful contemplation, questions, and research, Merry said yes.
This is not a marriage founded in romance, but a marriage founded in a deep and abiding friendship. We have known and loved each other as family for nearly three decades. Our relationship is built upon a mutual understanding of what we want in the world, in life, and the ability and willingness to communicate and compromise.
We decided to get to say our vows as soon as we responsibly could so that we could plan our departure for France.
We have set a date of October 10th, 2020. The wedding will be intimate — immediate family only — to protect everyone involved and minimize the risk of exposure. It will be recorded and photographed so that everyone can celebrate with us remotely. Our hope is to have a larger celebration in two years so that we can renew our vows and have all our friends with us.
We are both very excited and hope you will share our joy in our new adventure!
